Gender equality

Dear Renka,

I'm sorry, I did not write for a long time but many things have come up. Last week was terrible. I was in the hospital with little Emma. I´m going to burst out with anger. I have to write this because you are in a similar situation to me.

On Sunday night, her tummy started hurting. You know, for a two-year old child it can be many things. We had a barbecue, so I thought that she had just eaten something heavy and it would go away by morning. Of course I checked her abdomen and it was not her appendix. She had no fever. In the morning it was better, I went to work as normal and she stayed with daddy (you know he is on parental leave, right? I wrote you about that last time - we did not have a choice. He has no job and we need to live on something, so he stayed home).

Well, in the afternoon it was horrible. He called me to say they were going to the hospital because little Emma had vomited repeatedly. So he took her for a check-up. Although nothing was found, they decided to keep her in for observation. Kamil wanted to stay with her, because he knew that parents with such young children are allowed to stay in the hospital. It was absolutely terrible that he wasn´t allowed to. Reportedly only mothers can stay with kids because they are not equipped for fathers. So he began to argue with them about what special equipment he needs, when he just wants to be with his child. So they explained that they have no separate rooms and he would have to be in the room with someone’s mommy and they would certainly not like it. Kamil argued that he thinks that any normal mother would care for the child and not another parent. Despite arguing he was still not allowed to do so. He had to sit in front of the doctors’ room having been vomited all over a few hours ago because he did not want to leave Emma, who was pretty terrified. Finally I got time off, even though I am on probation and I could go there myself. Luckily it wasn´t that bad with Emma – she threw up all over the hospital and got relieved. But imagine - what if I was on business trip somewhere, or if some man is living alone with a child. It’s disgusting. The main thing is that they boast of being "a baby - friendly hospital". Thus you really think about whether Peter is to remain on parental leave and not you. I know that he wishes it, and that you can afford it, but even at the doctor´s there are changing tables only in women’s toilets - it will be difficult. I hope this will change but in fact it's better if you're at home. We have anti-discrimination laws and all kinds of documents about equality – nice talk.

Keep safe and write me something positive, because I need to be encouraged.

Love,
Jana